The Christmas Season

That most wonderful of times is upon us yet again: The Christmas Season. Yes, it's Christmas time. Time to light a fire in the fireplace, sip some cocoa, wrap presents, and listen to songs about murder and infidelity.

"Murder and infidelity! What?!?!" you may say.
"Yes. Our yuletide airwaves are full of them!" I'd reply.
"Shocking," you respond.
"Indeed," I say.

What are some of examples of these songs that distract from the true meaning of America's favorite virgin birth?

Murder: Grandma got run over by a reindeer. Note the horrified expression on grandma's face as she realizes her impending doom. Click for the video. Ok, so maybe it's not exactly murder, but due to the fact that "our friend" Saint Nick failed to report this traffic related fatality, it's at least vehicular manslaughter or negligent homicide. Hey Kris Kringle! I do say there's such a thing as Santa, and I think you deserve 25-life!

Infidelity: Murder wasn't enough for this jolly fellow, Santa Claus. No. He had to hit on your mom, too. Click here to hear the shocking tale. Maybe this bizarre event was the one that drove Michael to become the strange man we knew in his later life. I know I'd be permanently scarred from such a shocking series of events. Hey Santa! Stay away from my mom. Maybe seek marriage counseling along with Mrs. Claus. Poor lady, she probably didn't even know until she heard the song...

This post is dedicated to Grandma, Michael Jackson, and all those discerning souls who are searching for the true meaning of Christmas.